I test my chairs, too

For the next installment in the Bitch is Effing Nuts series, I would like to recount another tale of Dawn. As I'm sure all can recall, Dawn was my drug-loving, happy-go-lucky roommate who lasted ten weeks.

One afternoon, I came home from some outing that was surely fabulous to find Dawn assembling a large office chair to use in her room. Slightly befuddled by this, only because desk chairs were supplied to each room in our apartment, I retreated to my bedroom to study. Over the course of the next hour, I could hear several grunts and groans coming from the common room, a clear sign of my roommate struggling. However, I am a firm believer that some things, like assembling office chairs, should be left for people to figure out on their own. Therefore, I did not assist.

All of a sudden, while sitting at my computer, likely curing the pain of living with a crazy with a healthy dose of facebook stalking, I heard WHOOSH sound followed by a THUNK. I rushed over to the open door of my bedroom to see Dawn, faceplanted on the floor, with the chair on top of her. My first reaction was to make sure she was ok, which she was. My second was to ask her what the hell she was doing. After inquiring, she informed me that she needed to "test her chair to make sure it worked." She concluded that it did.

Well....

Chair: 1 Dawn: 0

Bitch is effing nuts.